empty soul.. lost angel

So lost in my own darkness...
so lost that i fogot once more where the light was..
I fell down here to avoid pain to others...
so now only I am in pain...
no..
not only me..
Someone is trying to follow me..
And is trying to get me out of here...
somehow i don't want it...
cuz i know i'll provoke pain again in his heart...
Reached me
catched me
Grabbed me
and hugged me...
*let's get out of here*
is what i saw in his eyes...
my heart said *go.. but be careful*
and my mind said *no.. you can't..
you're gonna do the same mistake..*

My heart...
so bruised...
My soul..
like if it as turned from an angel to a devil...
My fears..
so strong...
My streghts...
so down...

just my heart keeps yelling
*C'MON! GET UP!
you don't have too much to live on!
go there!
find where you belong once more
and do not get out of there!
still..
be sure that it is what you want"

when will i have strenghts enough to do that?
i wait... i try to get up..
my legs are to damn weak...
i don't feel them..
all my body is cold..
and i'm pale as snow...
and those weird tears keep falling from my eyes
and getting my face dirty with blood
blood i made inside my heart..
and inside someone's heart...
pain.. is teh only thing i've known
since i first loved someone..
i never met peace...
care...
protection...
warm...
true love...
and when i met it at last...
I was affraid...
and almost killed it...
almost transformed it into that painful feelings i've met before...
...that i was already used to...

i'm so, so sorry...